One hand 5 fingers - Two hands 10 finger
On Sep. 5th 02, Senior Constable Paul Friend from the SA Police Department made an interesting suggestion on his weekly spot on Radio 5 AA, Adelaide. He said, if I correctly understood the matter, when you have caused an incident that may otherwise lead to road rage, simply hold up your hand (all five fingers) to indicate you are sorry what happened
This use of the hand to diffuse potential anger made me think about our hand and fingers. Each one of our five fingers has a different function. Let’s look at them one by one
The little finger is mainly used as a dip stick to check the grease built-up in your ear. God has designed us so that our little finger is just the size of our ear hole. Try it. Why do we look at the amount of yellow grease, after we dug it out of our ear? This practice would only make sense, if we were to check, how much needs replenishing! Has anyone ever studied, how much grease we remove out of our ears in a life time? Did anyone ever analyze it to explore it’s commercial value? Who knows, it may just be the remedy for wrinkles
The ring finger is probably the one we use least. If you wear a wedding ring it reminds you of your lifelong bond to the wife of your youth. A wedding ring is symbolic of the way we ought to regard our marriage. To end a marriage should only be allowed, if you can slip your wedding ring off your ring finger easily. I’ll stay married until death us do part or until I have accumulated enough ear wax to assist the ring slipping off easily
The middle finger is also the longest. It has many functions. I teach my students to use this finger to operate the indicators and the windscreen wipers without taking the hands off the steering wheel. This finger is often used in Australia to communicate that we disapprove of an action: The hand is raised in a fist, except the middle finger, which is twisted and pointed upwards into the air. I believe it is a very rude gesture and ought to be abolished.
The index finger without doubt is our most useful tool on our hand. From an early age we use the index finger to draw the attention of the teacher. No one taught us this practice, it came natural, because the index finger is our most flexible. Using it to show direction is OK, but to point the index finger directly at people is bad etiquette. What’s more the other three fingers are pointing back at us
I must confess that I use the index finger to pick my nose occasionally. If my wife is anywhere within a mile, she will scream before my index finger has reached its destination. She must have a built in radar tracking my right index finger, which I use to clear both nostrils. Someone once rang a talkback radio station, asking why men always pick their noses at traffic lights. I should have rung up, because from experience I know the answer. It’s because men are more road safety conscious, they wait until the car has stopped at the traffic lights, before engaging in any cave exploration. The other reason is hair in the nostrils. I bet men have a more vigorous growth than woman, but I’m not sure on that. I haven’t checked my wife’s nostrils lately
.We could again explore the usefulness of our nose discharge, but there is definitely no chance for any cosmetic use, unless, perhaps, if mixed with earwax. Any students of chemistry looking for a project? I am glad I am not alone in my enjoyment of nose picking, perhaps I ought to start a men’s liberation support group?
Lastly, the thumb; it is too large to fit into the ear holes or nostrils. The mouth is the only place where it would fit into. But the proposed men’s liberation support group will not accept adults who have not stopped the practice of sucking their thumb. Freedom does have it’s limits. I keep getting a regular email from an inspirational man in Western Australia. Often his email shows the raised thumb as introduction. I love this greeting. The raised thumb makes me feel good, I’ve done something right.
The most powerful use of our fingers is by far the operation of the keyboard. If the pen is mightier than the sword, the keyboard is mightier than the canon ball. Our ten fingers, when inspired by a clean spirit and an determination to produce something good, can achieve much more than all the money in the world. I know from experience.